Musings on Self-Esteem

Self-esteem, for me, seems to come and go. Almost as cyclically as depression (which, mercifully, I haven't suffered from in quite some time).

Sometimes my self-confidence shifts multiple times in a day. It depends what I'm doing, who I'm with...if I am working on something and accomplishing a lot, I feel very self-confident and proud. Somehow that all spills over to my body image and I feel better about myself. Probably more realistically about myself--because I am my own worst critic.

If I am with someone romantically I can easily feel good about myself, if not great about myself. Love is quite a tonic. There was a bit on Xena earlier on in the show's life, wherein Xena tells Gabrielle (paraphrase) that she can only believe in herself when someone else believes in her, first. Written out like this it sounds rather sad, but I can relate to that. Having someone fancy me makes me feel like maybe I'm decent human being material after all.